Written By: Ken Hulsey
It is true that some of the most profound quotes in history have come from the mouths of some of the simplest of people. Such is the case with one Philip J. Fry an often misunderstood delivery boy who was delivering pizzas one day and delivering packages to far off distant worlds the next. A man who is in love with a one-eyed-mutant-woman, a man who loves a dog that used to do his business in the pizza sauce and a man who's best friend is a robot who wants him dead ..... most of the time. Indeed this man among men (?) is a complicated soul from which pure truthful philosophy has often times leaked out .....accidentally.
The words listed here are for the ages,words not only to be thought about and talked about but words to be heard, though we may not understand them all.
Such is the true essence of philosophy.
Here are the words of Philip J. Fry:
Philip J. Fry: Well, we missed the premiere, and we're gonna die. Might as well enjoy the sights.
[
a Neanderthal skeleton floats past the window]
Philip J. Fry: Oh, my God! Sylvester Stallone!
Fry: DOOP? What's that?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It's like the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Fry: Huh?
Hermes Conrad: Or like the Federation in your Star Trek show.
Fry: Oh, I see.
Philip J. Fry: Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Okay.
Philip J. Fry: That's all.
[
slicks his hair back]
Philip J. Fry: Oh, also, I'm covered with severe burns.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: So? What of it?
Philip J. Fry: Well, why is... those things?
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: You mean you don't remember?
Philip J. Fry: Nope, nothing. It's like when I passed out in college, except no one drew magic marker penises on my forehead.
Philip J. Fry: You can't lose hope when it's hopeless. You gotta hope more, then put your fingers in your ears and go, "Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!... "
Philip J. Fry: I don't want my comic picked apart by nerds. I'm taking it to a comic book convention
Philip J. Fry: I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity.
Fry: Man, I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling, but it turns out it's fixed, like boxing.
Bender: Just tell us what's happening!
Turanga Leela: We've gone back to December 31, 2999. We're about to re-live the last five years all over again!
Philip J. Fry: I've got a strange feeling...
Turanga Leela: Déjà vu?
Philip J. Fry: Leela! Now's not the time to come on to me in French.
Dwight Conrad: I heard alcohol makes you stupid.
Fry: No I'm... doesn't!
Fry: Oh my God. This is just like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on that drug trip.
Fry: Wait, I'm having one of those things... like a headache, with pictures.
Leela: An idea?
Fry: [
Nodding, a slight painful whimper in his voice] MmmHmm...
Philip J. Fry: This is every bit as fun as the real Civil War.
Turanga Leela: Not the Civil War, Private. We're re-enacting the Sith Wars.
Philip J. Fry: Sith? What the Hoth?
Bender: Dying sucks butt! How do you living beings cope with mortality?
Turanga Leela: Violent outbursts.
Amy Wong: General sluttiness.
Philip J. Fry: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.
Philip J. Fry: Leela's not just a chick, she's the chick I love. But don't tell her I called her a 'chick,' or she'll kill me.
Leela: Fry, put down those binoculars. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one week.
Philip J. Fry: I know, and I've learned to accept it.
Steve Castle: Let's practice your answers. "I'm worried about blank."
Fry: Don't you worry about blank. Let me worry about blank
[
later]
Leela: Fry, we're worried about Planet Express.
Fry: Don't you worry about Planet Express. Let me worry about blank.
Philip J. Fry: We can live without machines. I was in Webelos
Fry: [
about being sentenced to death by "Snu-snu"] I never thought I would die this way, but I've always really hoped.
Fry: I like your tail.
Ombrial: Thanks. I like those wriggly doodads growning from your hips.
Fry: Thanks. They're called pants.
Fry: You find me fascinating, even when I'm not pretending to be a jewel thief or a lion tamer.
Ombrial: Lions? You have sea lions on the land?
Fry: Yep. We call them "land sea lions." I tame them.
Fry: You're not jealous are you?
Leela: NO!
Fry: Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful!
Fry: Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. Anyway, you haven't drunk exactly the right amount.
[
Fry trying to talk Leela out of cosmetic surgery]
Fry: But you're better than normal, you're abnormal.
[
Fry walks out of a bathroom carrying a "Fresh" Egg Salad Sandwich he just bought from a dispenser]
Bender: What's that black cracker?
Fry: A tomato.
Leela: You're not going to eat a sandwich from a truck stop men's room, are you?
Fry: Eh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
[
Takes a bite]
Fry: Ehh, it's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's throwing up.
Fry: All right. It's Saturday night, I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.
See Also:
Futurama - Series 1 - Nibbler Plush Doll / Futurama - Rebirth Paper Giclee Print / FUTURAMA Hits The Century Mark! 100 Episodes And Still Going Strong! /
FUTURAMA And Other Comedy Central Panels At Comic Con /
The Triumphant Return Of FUTURAMA - Part 3 - Video Montage! /
The Triumphant Return Of FUTURAMA - Part 2 - New Images / Storyboards! /
The Triumphant Return Of FUTURAMA - New Images! /
Four Brand New Images From FUTURAMA! /
"We're Back Baby!" Futurama Cast Members Returning To Show! /
Bad News Everyone! Futurama Voice Actors Unlikely To Return For New Series /
Good News Everyone! Fox And Comedy Central Order 26 New Episodes Of Futurama /
Wizard World Texas Scores The Premiere Of Futurama Bender’s Game /
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs Trailer /
Futurama Series 2 Action Figure Set /
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs
